On finding out a spider had my name

After having heard my name, the little girl told me they once had found a spider at home and had named it Lorena. "What an annoying girl!", I thought. Nevertheless, the unpleasant, unasked for, piece of information made me wonder. Why would it make me so upset to have my name used to name such a creature? "Better than a dog", my own second thought surprised me! Still, the feeling resonated the truth in me.

Realizing the risk of finding myself hated by all the dog loving community of the world, I feel I may need to clarify that I don't dislike dogs in particular. I must admit, however, to finding no great connection between myself and them. A dog is a symbol of domesticity, of joyful existence in submission to other's designs, the creature on which one projects one's, at times, selfish and arrogant self, with no concern for rejection, but the actual expectation of forever unconditional love.

I came to the conclusion then that I'd really rather find my name on a spider. Deemed ugly and scary, it goes about its own spider businesses, solely responsible for the weaving of its own web, a web that is both delicate and strong, that catches and immobilizes other intruding creatures. It may be ugly and scary, but it walks its own paths with independence and pride. It is, the spider, free to be.

Créditos da foto: Marina Montenegro Mascarenhas

Comments

The kind of person who lights candles

I am the kind of person who lights candles. This is now, not then. it is a recently acquired habit, one that has done me well. I light up candles every day. In the beginning of each class I set up an intention, I focus and I light the candle. I ask myself to be the light, to be the container, not the conduit. I am now the kind of person Who walks barefoot on the grass of my backyard and lets herself shower in the improbable rain of Brasilia in May. The four elements rest now on my desk making my therapist smile when told about them, making her proud of myself and my journey. I am the kind of person that feels the connection with the elements, and nature and the universe, so new. I am again a newborn being. And it is not the first time, I have once died and it’s no secret. This time, however, I did not have to die. I had only to shed the old skin, the one who served me no more. I am still the kind of person who looks in the mirror and who wonders who this new being is. This new self

No espelho

Olhei hoje para o espelho e me vi mais serena, me enxerguei com mais leveza. Não que esteja de fato mais leve, eu acho. Ou será que estou? Tenho ainda infinitas incertezas e dúvidas aos milhares, mas a imagem que me olhou de volta do espelho, não me olha com tristeza, dor pânico. A imagem que vejo nesse espelho é de calma, no olhar certa paz, talvez de se entender humana, imperfeita e aceitar essa condição. Aqui, deste lado que estou, me observando no espelho, sinto ainda o coração encolher como se uma mão o quisesse esmagar. Encolhe-se para sobreviver e expande-se em seguida. Ao encolher-se, a respiração dá uma pausa e uma bolha de cristal sobe em refluxo, pausando ali no meio da goela. Assim que pode, o coração retorna a seu pulsar, seu ir e vir. Permanecem ali as dúvidas, as exigências, as demandas, mas também os desejos de só ser, irresponsavelmente ser e atender a cada quimera. Porque a vida é curta! A vida é sopro! E o outro? Os outros? Todos os outros? É precis

Sobre os artistas - Para Bruno Sandes

Créditos da imagem: Jacobs School of Music Marketing and Publicity

Inner Babel / Babel Interior

Search This Blog